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How to Avoid Dating

Steps

Making the Decision

  1. Consider your reasoning.It's important to understand exactly why you are making your decision, so that you can maintain your resolve and re-evaluate your decision as needed.
    • Do you feel that you aren't in a place in life where you can handle a relationship?
    • Do you have a difficult history with dating, and want a break?
    • Are you aromantic, asexual, and/or questioning?
    • Do you want to focus on something else?
    • Is it difficult or unsafe for you to date (e.g. lesbian teen in an extreme Christian family)?
  2. Set a time frame.How long are you going to abstain from dating? It can help to have a sense of how long you'll be single. Set a general or specific goal for yourself. If you don't know how long, try setting up a period where you'll re-evaluate your decision. For example, you won't date for two months, and then at the beginning of the next month, you'll decide whether you want to continue for another month, and so on.
    • For a month?
    • Until you finish your senior thesis?
    • Once you feel personally ready?
    • Your entire life?
  3. Define what you are and aren't going to do.Having a clearly defined goal will help you stay on track. Consider whether you are open to...
    • Hooking up
    • Casual flirting
    • Friends with benefits
    • Casual sex

Avoiding Dates

  1. Don't flirt.Flirting often involves long eye contact, smiles, lots of compliments, excuses to touch each other, et cetera. Avoid flirting with other people, and respond with disinterest if someone tries to flirt with you.
  2. Make the parameters of friendship clear.If you suspect someone is crushing on them, tell them that they're a good friend. If you want to invite them somewhere, mention that you'd love to take afriendto that place, and that it made you think of them.
    • If someone doesn't take the hint after you do this, gently take them aside and say that you value their friendship and aren't looking for a date right now.
  3. Gently say no if you are asked out.Be honest, clear, and compassionate. Don't suggest that you would be open to dating them in the future, because then they might cling to shreds of possibility instead of moving on and finding happiness, and that isn't healthy.
    • "I'm flattered, but not interested."
    • "I'm not ready to date at this point in my life."
    • "I see you as a friend."
    • Avoid long or complicated explanations. Simplicity is best.

Enjoying the Single Life

  1. Work on any problems that are stopping you from dating.If you are grieving a loss, consider going to a grief counselor. If you don't feel ready to date due to low self-confidence, work on strategies like affirmations, helping others, and mastering skills. This way, you can help yourself feel better, and then be happy and ready to date even sooner.
    • The purpose of this is not to immediately throw yourself back into dating, but to work on anything that needs strengthening, or that is interfering with your long-term goals.
  2. Focus on friendships.Spend more time on the relationships that aren't romantic: friends, family, mentors, et cetera. Go out and do things with people you care about, and spend quality time with those who matter most to you.
  3. Center your hobbies.What do you love to do? What have you always wanted to try? Whether it's knitting or rock climbing or editing wikiHow, immerse your time in something that makes you feel productive and happy.

Community Q&A

Search
  • Question
    What do I do if I'm attracted to a person, but do not want to date?
    wikiHow Contributor
    Community Answer
    Distract yourself and focus on other things, such as your career or hobbies. Keep your distance from the person, but still remain friendly, and don't go out of your way to spend time with him.
    Thanks!
  • Question
    I'm interested in somebody, but I don't want to date. What should I do?
    wikiHow Contributor
    Community Answer
    You could just become their friend. If you don't want to date, you don't have to date. You can still spend time with them and enjoy their company though.
    Thanks!
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Date: 13.12.2018, 08:25 / Views: 42393