"Bachelorette" Recap: Lie Detectors in Venice
Ah, Venice. Or as it is known onThe Bachelorette, "Venice, Italy." Before it sinks into the ocean, the city has to carry the weight of the eight remaining contestants, Andi, Chris Harrison, and the production crew.
Things got off to a swift start, as the show tried to suggest that Andi's first one-on-one date happened right as they were getting into town. (Where were the bags, if so?) The lack of a date card seemed to throw everyone, and, immediately, the question became: Will Cody get his first actual date? Mea culpa: I have perhaps said some harsh things about Cody in the past, but even with his bleached blond faux-hawk flopping in the wind, the dude is growing on me. He has no chance withAndi, but he's growing on me.
Oh, well: He's not getting his first date. It was another date for Nick, who is becoming the villain of the group. Nick is probably the best-looking right now and his black leather jacket was really working for him on this date. They didn't seem to do anything besides get rowed back and forth on a gondola through the canals (and grab a slice of fairly awful-looking tourist pizza) and get attacked by a flock of pigeons, but Andi looked happy.
Still, she had some tough questions for Nick. Namely, why does every other person in the house hate him? So for the evening portion of the date, they put on black-tie outfits as if going to a masquerade ball … to see if Nick ... was wearing … a mask … for Andi. Obvious symbolism is rampant, of course, in the world of theBachelorfranchise, but this seemed a little more intense than normal. We already watched them trying on masks during the date!
Anyways, long story short, Nick managed to convince Andi that he wasn't bragging about being a frontrunner to the other guys, he was just "incredibly fortunate to have the connection that we have." Not only that, he dropped an L-bomb: "I'm definitely falling in love." A risky move but it worked. Andi took him to a dreaded private concert/masquerade ball and they made out in front of a classical trio who, one hopes, were very well-paid.
The guys assemble and Andi takes them to what looks to be a medieval torture chamber, where two Italian men sneak up next to her. They are allegedly "expert" lie detector test administrators, something that seems as much like a real job as "pantsapreneur," but whatever. Everyone will be tested. For something.
While no one looks excited about this activity (and why would you?), Josh M. is hilariously upset. He appears to be having a full-on panic attack, sputtering to the guys that with only yes/no answers, you can't really explain yourself.
I have no idea what he did, but from the scenes of the actual test, he doesn't have anything to worry about. It's actually pretty funny. Dylan cops to sleeping with over 20 womenandnot washing his hands after going to the bathroom. Farmer Chris admits to being Andi's secret admirer from earlier in the episode. We don't see much of Josh's session but he continues to look terrified, eyes bulging, while answering questions like, "Are you here for the right reasons?" Andi gets to go also, where she says that she has fallen in love, although we have no idea if that's true or not.
In fact, we don't end up knowing what anyone lied about, because Andi tore up the results in some misguided effort to prove to the guys that she trusts them. We do know, however, that she told at least two lies. But we don't even get to see her results! Lame.
This segment has morphed into a series of private dates, really. Brian is my new Cody — the least favorite, most painful-to-watch contestant. He tries to get creative on their one-on-one time with some kind of DIY lie detector test, forcing her to put a hand on his heart and making her ask him questions. It was terrible. When he asked her, "Do you want to make out?" and she said, "No," well, I don't think she was lying even though they did wind up engaging in some horrifying kissing.
Marcus, having told Andi that he loved her weeks ago, tried to find more elaborate ways of expressing it, moving from "I'm falling in love with you" to "I am in love with you." But the returns are diminishing. Josh M., scarf firmly tied around his neck, continued to complain about the lie detector test, although, this time, to Andi. It was a weird exchange and Andi was obviously confused by why Josh M. was so passionately anti-lie detector. It was like watching someone in a couple pick a fight: Josh M. seems to feel that Andi should just trust him, not really understanding what the rest of the group does, that this "date" is just a gimmick for the cameras.
Then Farmer Chris reveals that he's the secret admirer. He's looking very cute in a grey shawl-neck sweater but, really, who cares about the secret admirer thing? He does make out with Andi, though, and gets the rose.
Cody Gets His Date!
So now, finally, it's time for Cody to get his date with Andi, i.e, her chance to eliminate him before the rose ceremony. The theme is "avoiding the friend zone," so they go to Verona for some Romeo-and-Juliet touring. Cody is very, very happy and gamely does some Romeo and Juliet role-playing on a balcony before the two go to the Juliet Club (Club di Guilietta). This, as a nice Italian lady explains, is where all the letters to Juliet go, when people write letters to her.
It's a confusing concept — how do you know Juliet's address? — but Cody and Andi dive in, reading and then responding to letters. Cody acquits himself quite well here, delivering some pretty solid (if boring) love advice.
The evening portion of the date doesn't appear to have any bells and whistles. Also, it's clear from the get-go that Cody hasa lotto say. He hasmanyfeelings. He starts laying them on, in waves of unconnected phrases, "I want to roll around with you" and, "You're in trouble because you will start to like me," being standouts.
Unfortunately, for him, he neglects to look at Andi's face while he's talking. If he did, he would see her frowning and then scowling and finally crying, as she interrupts him. It's really painful. I mean, these are my notes:
CODY OPEN YOUR EYES
YR IN TROUBLE
Welp, no rose for Cody. "The romance," Andi says, "it's not there." Fair enough. Cody does a little crying himself in the limo out of there, but truly, the romance was not there.
And then there were six! Nick, not content to merely call himself the frontrunner, bolts up from his chair for one-on-one time with Andi as soon as she walks in. This, of course, greatly upsets the other guys. Farmer Chris, already with a rose and with a bit of swagger leftover from their makeout sesh, deems it a "jackass move." Also, all the guys keep referring to Nick "taking" Andi and that is really unfortunate terminology. Please stop.
But no matter. Andi swoons over Nick's alpha moves ("That's a real man right there") and they canoodle. This is followed by some more "taking" from the other guys. Then, as a palate cleanser, Chris Harrison takes Andi for some alone time. It's a verbal recap of all the things we have just seen on TV, a totally unnecessary segue, but the producers do have two hours to fill and, frankly, not a ton happened this week. Finally, we get to see Andi deliberating in front of an altar of framed photos of the remaining contestants. Just as you would in real life, of course, while dating eight people.
At elimination time, JJ, the Pantsapreneur, looks quite unhinged. Unfortunately, his panic was justified: Andi sends him home, keeping Brian, for unknown reasons, and making Josh wait until the end to be called. Now we are down to six contestants! And next week's date will be another exotic locale! We've seen almost no bikini shots of Andi so I'm sure the producers will be rectifying that mistake soon.
He runs to the front to greet Andi in every scene, as befits a frontrunner. The guys might hate him but it's going to be hard to make Andi care about that.
The lie-detector test wasn't a great look for Josh, but his relationship with Andi is still much more evolved than the others'. But is ittooevolved — evolved to the point of breaking up? It's possible.
Andi wore a turtleneck and skort outfit for Cody's date. She's obviously sending coded messages to Harrison, another T-neck lover.
Being the secret admirer won this guy some screen time, as well as face time with Andi. He could still pull off an upset.
Literally Anyone Else on Earth ...
... besides Brian, Dylan and Marcus. The remaining contestants are such a miserable lot.
Video: The Bachelorette 10 - Episode 6 Recap (06/24/2014)
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