How to Spoon Someone
Spoons fit together perfectly. This cuddling position maximizes intimacy and comfort, allowing you and your partner to snuggle into each other like spoons in the drawer. If you want to feel close to your partner, there's no more perfect way than spooning.
Mastering the Spooning Techniques
Establish your spoon sizeEstablish your spoon size.In most spooning positions, you will need to designate a "little" and a "big" spoon:
- The little spoon: This is typically the smaller partner. This position is often considered emasculating, and usually will fall to the feminine partner.
- The Big Spoon: This will often be the dominant partner. This is typically the taller or more masculine partner.
- A quick test to figure out which spoon is the big spoon: whoever hugs the other partner while cuddling should be the big spoon. These role aren't always black and white, quite often big spoons will enjoy occasionally being the little spoon.
Do the Classic SpoonDo the Classic Spoon.In this position, The big spoon lies on his or her side, and the little spoon puts his or her back to the stomach of the big spoon while also lying on his or her side. While there are variations of what the bottom arm of the big spoon does in this position, it's well accepted within the spooning community that the big spoon's top arm should be wrapped around the waist of the little spoon.
- See "Avoiding Awkwardness" below for information on what the big spoon can do with his or her bottom arm.
Do the Ol' Ball and SpoonDo the Ol' Ball and Spoon.In this technique, the big spoon lies on his or her side, and the little spoon puts his or her back to the stomach of the big spoon while also lying on his or her side. The little spoon should then curl into a fetal position. The big spoon should then use his or her bottom arm to stretch behind him or her, creating a cross, with the top arm lying across the little spoon.
Do the Big Spoon and Baby SpoonDo the Big Spoon and Baby Spoon.In this position, the big spoon lies on his or her side, and the little spoon should then curl into a fetal position facing the stomach of the big spoon. The big spoon should then hug the little or Baby Spoon with both arms.
Do the Spoons in a DrawerDo the Spoons in a Drawer.For this move, the big spoon should lie on his or her back. The little spoon should then lie on top of the big spoon's stomach, face down. For more intimacy, try hugging each other.
Do the SporkDo the Spork.To take the same idea behind the "Classic Spoon," try interlocking both spoons' legs so that bottom leg of the big spoon rests on the mattress, then the little spoon's bottom leg, then the big spoon's top leg, then the little spoon's top leg.
Do the Upside-Down YDo the Upside-Down Y.To do this maneuver properly, both the little and the big spoon should press their backs to each other's. This will allow for more personal space (and fresh air) while still providing the "warmth" of your partner.
Mix it up!Mix it up.Who says the male has to be the big spoon all the time? Have fun switching it up and changing who is in the position of the big and little spoon. Even if the little spoon is a foot taller than the big spoon, this will be a fun and cute cuddling experience. If you and your partner are really comfortable with one another, then traditional gender and spoon roles won't matter!
Create the right arm placementCreate the right arm placement.This is a crucial part to creating a lasting spooning position. This responsibility usually falls on the big spoon because it is likely his or her arm that will suffer the consequences. Bad arm placement can result in your arm falling asleep or an inability to leave the spooning position. Here are some arm positions you should avoid at all costs:
- The T-Rex Armhappens when two people are spooning on their sides and the big spoon's bottom arm is caught behind the back of the little spoon creating a T-Rex arm (bent at the elbow) that has no room to expand.
- Army Armhappens when two people are spooning on their sides and the big spoon's bottom arm is forced to be straight at their side. This is often uncomfortable and creates a barrier between the big spoon's front and the little spoon's back, therefore decreasing intimacy.
- Superhero Armhappens when two people are spooning on their sides and the big spoon's bottom arm is forced to extend straight-up as if he or she were about to fly. While this allows the big spoon to put his or her arm under the neck of the little spoon, increasing intimacy, this can quickly lead to a dead arm and leaves little room for the big spoon to escape.
- Hugging Armhappens when two people are spooning on their sides and the big spoon's bottom arm is wrapped around the waist of the little spoon. This can lead to the worst possible scenario: Big Spoon's arm falls asleep and Little Spoon's too comfortable to wake up and free the big spoon's arm. Amputation is then the only way to break free without waking your partner. If you do try to escape, try explaining why you woke your partner without sounding selfish (Hint: it's not going to happen).
Leave the cuddling position if necessaryLeave the cuddling position if necessary.If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen (without offending your partner). Leaving the cuddling position breaks or "ends" the intimacy of the moment. Pulling out of the position, therefore, must be done in a diplomatic way. We all need some personal space sometimes, and it's perfectly natural to feel this way. Here are some ways to stop cuddling as gracefully as possible:
- Fake it so you don't hurt your partner's feelings.Use a fake yawn or a casual sleep "grunt" to establish that you are "doing this in your sleep". This will establish that you are doing this while sleeping and not because they are a bad spoon. This will spare their feelings and prevent any confrontation. Once you create your escape noise, be sure to continue using it before and after you escape and then periodically. It's called establishing your baseline and this is going to make this a whole lot more convincing.
Do a limb block.The goal is to be able to roll out of the position. This means you will need a clear escape route that involves as little effort as possible––'you are doing this in your sleep. First remove any arms or legs by either:
- Slowly move the limb yourself without waking them. To move a limb without your partner noticing, it's going to be a single, slow, and methodical motion. This is going to need to be done with your eyes closed. If the other person catches you, play "asleep."
- Creating an uncomfortable situation for your partner that makes him or her move that limb. If you are experiencing issues with being able to move an arm or limb, or heaven forbid are the bottom spoon in a position, it's going to be best that you make your partner as uncomfortable as possible. Then when he or she moves, you are guilt-free.
- Swiftly roll out.Roll over to an open space in the bed by tucking all of your limbs as close to your body as possible and then "rolling" in one motion to the free space. This is a commitment. Once you start to roll, you cannot abort the mission. This is a red-flag that you are awake. This will make it extremely obvious that steps one and two were purposeful and that you were trying break the "intimacy" that the spooning set out to establish.
QuestionWhat if I get an erection when my girlfriend and I do it?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerGetting an erection is completely natural and you shouldn't be ashamed. Your partner may be pressing her lower region towards yours to tease you or show you that she is having the same feelings as you. If she is uncomfortable with your erection, that's okay, too, and you should just move away.Thanks!
QuestionHow do I tell my partner that I would like to spoon with them?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerJust come right out and ask the first time. For example: "I just saw this new cuddling technique, can we try it out?" Give it a try, you can even mess up over and over but that's the fun part because it can even get more intimate that way.Thanks!
QuestionWhat if my partner is a not a spooner?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerDon't make them do it if they won't. They might not like it. Ask them about it. If they might not want to do it or they need personal space, make one on your ownThanks!
QuestionIs it okay for two guys to spoon naked?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerIt is perfectly okay for any two consenting adults to spoon, naked or clothed, regardless of gender or sexuality.Thanks!
QuestionWhat should I do with my other arm?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerIt's up to you. I usually put my other arm under my partner so I can hug with both arms.Thanks!
- Make sure you smell good. You don't want your partner to think you smell bad.
- Try not to breathe heavily. Nothing is more unattractive when spooning than having someone panting in your ear.
- Try to rub circles or massage the part of your partner that you are touching.
- If you are trying to be intimate and tender with the person you are spooning, try kissing the top of his/her neck.
- If you're a girl, make sure to tie your hair up when being the little spoon - the big spoon doesn't want hair in their face or mouth!
- The Big spoon can put their arm in the space under the little spoon's neck. Use a pillow to make it more comfy.
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